Sharing your Faith

Witnessing to others about Christ can be a daunting task, especially when you first start out. To me personally there are few things that scare me more than going up to a perfect stranger and asking the question “Do you know Jesus?” That fear kept me from sharing my faith for a very long time. However, when I got to college I realized that witnessing was more dynamic than just a conversation with a stranger. Over time even the fear of approaching a stranger with the gospel began to subside, because I found my witnessing niche. In Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus gives us the great commission and tells us that we are to go into all the world and make disciples. Later on in the New Testament Paul gives us details on exactly how that works.

1 Corinthians 12:28-29

²⁸ And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. ²⁹ Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?   

These verses speak on the spiritual gifts God bestows on believers to testify as witnesses to the glory and power of God. When it comes to sharing your faith, variety is one of the key components to remember. Once I realized that I wasn’t called to share my faith like my pastor or an evangelist from overseas, I began to focus on how I could affect the people in my sphere of influence for Christ. As I began to get comfortable operating in my gifts I found that there were some similarities that connected me to other members of universal church.

First of no matter how you share your faith you can’t treat people like projects. Being relational and truly stepping into their life because you care about them is more likely to bring them to Christ than if you hold them at arm’s length. Secondly you have to strive to be consistent. The person they see at church should be the same person they run into at the store and the same person they see on social media. Although we can never be perfect we should always strive to flee from hypocrisy in any area of our lives. The scripture says to avoid even the appearance of evil and 1 John 1:6 says that we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God and continue to walk in darkness.

Raising up disciples of Christ is not easy. It will cost you a lot of time and it will stretch both your faith and your patience to its limits. The good news is we don’t have to do it alone. 

Prayer 101

This post is going to be a bit different, since prayer is a conversation; I am pushing to write this as though we are sitting down and talking together.

If I’m being perfectly honest prayer is something that I have been struggling to get a grasp on for a while. When I first got saved it was because God answered my prayer. I knew it was God because there was no other explanation for what happened. Since that time I have learned to lean more and more on talking to God as an outlet for my frustration and as a way to get to know him better. However, I have heard a lot of different teachings on prayer that I still don’t understand and I’m not even sure if they are biblical. For example in Matthew 18:18-20 Jesus is talking about binding and loosing things in heaven and on earth. When I look at the context of the passage I can presume he is talking to the disciples, which makes me question if I actually have the authority to do what the disciples did since he wasn’t talking to me but to them. Sometimes our prayers are more cultural colloquialisms than real genuine prayers. Such as speaking things into existence and commanding angels. Yes life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but if you are “speaking things into existence” that go against the will of God they are NOT going to happen. There also isn’t any scriptural reference for humans commanding angels, God commands angels to help us if we ask him, and we do not have any authority over angels.  So I take these truths into consideration when I pray because the way I look at it, God is the only one who can do those things. And I get so sad when I see posts on Facebook where people are binding spirits, speaking prosperity over their lives, and rebuking Satan because I’m not sure if they actually have the power to do that and are therefore wasting their time.

What I do know for a fact is that God definitely has the power to do all of these things and more and for me right now I go the route of asking him to do them. For example I am more likely to pray something like: “Lord if it be your will take this headache away and bring healing to my body” than “I bind this spirit of infirmity”. The second prayer places me as the source of my healing and that is unbiblical. So as I continue to grow in Christ and get a full understanding of what I do and don’t have the power to do, I lean on the Holy Spirit and the Bible for wisdom on how to pray appropriately. I look at the psalms and I see the way David prayed. I read about how Moses and Ezekiel conversed with God and then I go back to the outline Jesus gave for prayer. After I put all of that together I can humbly come before God and have a casual, honest conversation.

One of the biggest things I have learned about prayer this year is that sprinkling the phrase in Jesus name at the end of a rant doesn’t make the prayer genuine or increase its chances of going past the ceiling. I know this because I did this, for YEARS, and I kept wondering why God wasn’t listening to me. Once I realized that prayer is more than just me ranting and raving to God about all of my issues, I began to see changes in my heart, my perspective, and my life. I hope that through some intense study and genuine prayer of your own you will begin to see major changes in your prayer life as well.

Getting married is a life changing event, not only for the bride and groom, but for their families. They way you interact with your parents will change drastically after you get married and if you don’t set up boundaries from day one; your relationships could be strained for a long time. The goal of this particular blog is to give you some general boundaries that you should set for your parents as you move forward in this new season of life.  

Always talk with your spouse before you agree to do anything for or with your parents.

 You two are a unit now; therefore your activities and obligations will affect your spouse, so before you say yes double check with your spouse to make sure you aren’t overextending yourself emotionally or financially. This isn’t necessarily asking permission to do things for or with your parents but seeing what they think about said activity.

Plan ahead for holidays.

Give your parents months of advanced notice about who you will be spending the holidays with. Personally speaking me and my husband rotate which family we will spend time with on a yearly basis, but you have to do what works best for you and your spouse. Regardless of what you do it is wise to plan ahead.

Unless it is an emergency don’t accept calls after 9 p.m.

This is one that I struggled with. Now depending on your schedule the time maybe be different, but in general once you and your husband are in bed relaxing, you shouldn’t answer the phone unless it’s an emergency. Why? Because you have to spend quality time with your spouse and if you consistently de-prioritize your spouse you will notice that your bedroom will start to get a bit chilly.

Keep your sexual activity to yourself

Speaking of the bedroom, talks about sex at this point should only be between you and your spouse. Whatever hang-ups or hiccups you might run into sexually do not need to be disclosed to your parents or any other family members. The time for your parents to teach you about the birds and the bees is over so if you have questions you have three options: God, your spouse, or your doctor (if you are having trouble conceiving).

Don’t shut them out

Your parents are still your parents and they love you dearly. One of the ways that you honor them is by spending time with them. Shutting them out and getting lost in your new life while ignoring them is very disrespectful. You don’t have to talk every hour of every day, but checking in on a weekly or monthly basis won’t hurt.

Exodus 20:12 NIV

Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.  

Don't miss this Friday's Live #Fridayflo on Biblical Marriage. Tune in on Facebook at 7 p.m. EDT!

The Bible is an amazing book. It is extremely complex and extremely long. It is comprised of 66 books, by 40 authors but it is all God inspired. As Christians it is one of the best tools we have to navigate this life in a way that honors God. Whether you are a new Christian or you have been following God for the last 40 years there are a few practical basics that we all need to adhere to in order to effectively study the Bible.

1. Get a Bible you can understand.

According to Google, as of September 2016 the bible has been translated into 636 different languages. Therefore it stands to reason that there is a Bible out there that you can read and understand. So check online or at your local Christian bookstore for a bible that makes sense when you read it. All versions of the bible are NOT created equally, especially those that have been translated to English. For some people a King James Version is going to give them a headache and for others they can’t get enough of it. Click the link for more information on the various versions of the bible.

2. Get a journal.

You will be taking a LOT of notes on the scriptures you read, so find a journal that fits your fancy, and start writing down what God teaches you as you read his word. Write down your prayers and when they get answered. Write out the revelations you have as you read. Write out your doubts, fears, and frustrations as you go through life. Write down EVERYTHING.

3. Pick a place to study.

Don’t try to get to fancy with this, it doesn’t have to be heavily decorated, but you should find a place where you can be alone with God. For some people it’s a locked bathroom away from the kids. For me, it’s my kitchen table after my husband goes to work. Just pick a place and meet there consistently with God.

4. Start Small

Don’t try to go over 10-15 minutes and don’t try to read multiple chapters at a time. I say this because when you take the bible in small chunks you won’t feel pressed to try to understand the entire book in one sitting. Take your time and chew on a few scriptures, then sit quietly and listen to what God has to say about how you should apply those scriptures to your life.

5. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Pray before you read your bible, while you are reading your bible, and after you finish. Talk to God as you take notes and listen to what he is saying to you while you are reading. Prayer is communication; it is not a speech, just a simple conversation, so take your time, talk and listen.

6. Use your tools wisely

There are two things other than the Holy Spirit that make my bible study effective; my concordance and biblical commentaries. My concordance helps me make the word of God personal to whatever I am going through. Most bibles have the concordance in the back, so when I am having a bout with anger I can flip back to the index and find ALL of the scriptures in my bible about anger. Once I do that I study those scriptures and I break them down. Rebuilding arguments and searching for God’s say on the matter. In my research I discover how he treated angry people and how he handled his anger. By the time I am finished I have a whole host of notes to review about God’s perspective on anger and how it should be handled. Doing this makes it easier to apply it to my life.

Now biblical commentaries come in many forms. Blog posts, sermons, Facebook posts, and even the notes underneath a passage you are studying (especially if you have an Amplified bible). All of these tools help me to see the scriptures from different perspectives. I can understand how God explained the passage to the commentators and if they are really good they will give me the tools on how to apply it to my daily life. Two websites that have been especially helpful are gotquestions.org and desiringgod.org

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The biggest part of studying the bible is to remember that it is just that, a STUDY. This is not something that you will understand in one day. But by being consistent, using your tools wisely, praying, starting small, picking a place to meet God, getting a journal, and getting a bible you can understand you will be well on your way. Before you know it will consume you to the point that you don’t want to put it down.

Jeremiah 29:13 ESV

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Click the link to Tune in at 7 p.m. EDT for my #Fridayflo on giving God lip service. 

  

Before I got married I actually didn’t think this could happen. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that the man I had prayed for would ever fail me. I had built up this unrealistic image in my head of what my husband would be like and how he would treat me. Now that I am in the thick of marriage I know the truth. Failure at some point in time during the duration of our marriage is inevitable. Not because he wants to fail me but simply because he is human. As I accepted this truth I found that giving John (my husband) grace was necessary for our survival as a couple.

In essence there are two ways that your husband can fail you.

He can fail to meet your expectations of what a husband should be.

This failure can be manifested in a variety of forms: mismanagement of finances, pornographic addictions, lack of self control, wild tempers etc. All of these things don’t fit into the bubble that we put our husbands in before we marry them.  And when they don’t pay the bills on time or bring home as much as we want them to, we get disappointed. When they fly off the handle and say vicious things just to win an argument we are baffled that they would stoop so low. And when they come home and tell us they had an affair with their secretary at work we are blinded by rage. As bad as these failures are, there is and even greater way that you husband can fail you. 

He can fail to meet God’s standard of what a husband should be.

As the head of the house, the husband has a great amount of responsibility that God gives him and when he fails in this area, the spiritual repercussions can echo for generations to come. When he doesn’t cover you and the family in prayer, when he doesn’t lead by example and push the family to fellowship at church on a weekly basis. When he worships other “gods” like his material possessions and doesn’t make the true God a priority, it is easy for the rest of the family to get relaxed about all things spiritual.

No matter what happens, as a wife we have to readily forgive our husbands when they fail us. We have to extend the same grace and mercy that Christ gives us every time we fail God. It is easy to get blinded by our husbands’ shortcomings, but if we live in unforgiveness we will become bitter, and all of those toxic emotions will choke the life out of your relationship. So accept his humanity and give him grace when he fails, the love that you continue to show him will cover his mistakes. (1 Peter 4:8 NIV) As his wife it is your job description to encourage him and forgive him on a regular basis. Cover him in prayer, be open about your feelings, and watch God transform the way you view his failures and the way you handle them.

Stay tuned for this week’s Friday FLO "Dealing with Difficult People" at 7 p.m. EDT on my page.

Peace and Blessings 

A few weeks ago I was watching a Facebook live video by Rekesha Pittman. I have long since forgotten what the original purpose of the video was but one of her statements hit me right between the eyes. “I pray that God gives me thick skin and a soft heart.” In her video she was addressing people in leadership, however I think this concept is something that we all need to grasp if we are going to effectively reach the lost.

So for all of us who have a smaller sphere of influence; here are some reasons why you should pray for thick skin and a soft heart.

You gain a backbone.

Having thick skin will help you not to bend to the will of others based on their emotional responses to your decisions. You aim to please and audience of one and their opinions about the way you live your life don’t have any negative psychological effects on your life.

Your compassion level skyrockets.

Not only do you brush off hateful commentaries but you begin to care about the source of them and the motives of the commentator. And as you begin to discover those motives, your heart softens towards them and you develop a desperate urge to pray for them on a regular basis, because the Holy Spirit allows you to see the person behind the hate. He shows you their fears and their insecurities and because you have been held back by those demons before you begin going to war for them because God shows you their potential for greatness in His kingdom. Everyone has a part to play in the body of Christ and you don’t allow a bristly personality to keep you from helping them grow and play their part.

Your witnessing efforts are more effective.

When you truly start to accept that you only have one audience and that everyone is here for a purpose, the fear you used to have when witnessing will disappear. There are over 300 times in the bible where God tells us not to be afraid. As you develop a thicker skin the fears of what people will think of you and how they will respond to you go out the window. As you develop a softer heart you will have a desire to share the freedom that you have in Christ with everyone you know. You can’t hide in the closet anymore. God is too good and people have too much potential for you to hide the joy that God has given you.

To be honest this is not an easy prayer to pray. And the process of it getting answered is difficult. You will be praying for people who have hurt you, people who get under your skin, and your flesh will fight against you tooth and nail the entire way. But the joy contentment, confidence, and peace that come with a thick skin and a soft heart out weigh the pain of the process.

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PSA: I am working on a book and my goal is to finish it by the end of the summer. Follow me on Facebook for more details!

During the first 18 years of my life I didn’t take God seriously. I grew up in church and based on my understanding of what I was taught, I could never be good enough. This coupled with my natural inclination towards a fatalist mindset left me in many questionable circumstances for a “goody-two shoes”. My reasoning was that since I was never going to meet God standards I shouldn’t really bother. During my freshman year of college I put God on the back burner. I wanted to reinvent myself without His influence, my pastors, or my parents. But something shifted my sophomore year. My roommate started inviting me to bible study on Sunday nights. Since it was really informal and I was free to ask questions I kept going. (The fact that they fed us was a big help too.) I started falling in love with God again. I wanted to give Him every part of my life, simply because I loved Him. But I started to swing into a dangerous mindset of legality. I was trying to earn His love through works. And this left me in a worse mess than I had been before. I started to read my bible, pray, and serve out of duty instead of love. And the prison I found myself in was unbearable. I had to be perfect. There was no room for error in the mindset I had.  Thankfully with the help of some very patient mentors and hours of study on my own I don’t live in that prison anymore. So here are some truths and verses that helped me break out.

Romans 8

Although the entire book of Romans is bomb, chapter eight spoke to me during this time because I felt condemned with no way out on a regular basis. Meditating on this scripture, memorizing it, and embracing the freedom I have in Christ took some time, but I fall more in love with this passage every day, especially on my bad days.

People pleasing is for the birds

If I could shout this from every roof top in the world I would. This simple reality has saved me so much heart ache in the last few years. It took me a long time to realize that it is impossible to please everybody. Scripture says “If it be possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 NIV) Meaning there is a chance that you WON’T live at peace with everyone, and that is ok. Remember we perform for an audience of one.

Sanctification is a process and you need people to help make it happen

When it comes to living a life pleasing to God it will not happen overnight, and it definitely won’t happen when you are isolated. Having friends and family members that hold you accountable helps you stay close to God. However at the end of the day it is the Holy Spirit that changes your heart and convicts you of your sinful habits. And although it didn’t feel good at the time I am so thankful for conviction.

So if you find yourself in the prison of perfection, I encourage you to break out. The law has been fulfilled, we live under grace and there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God