Wednesday, May 10, 2017



There a plethora of reasons why your husband can be grouchy.

A bad day at work.

Disrespectful kids.

The pressure to provide.

The list is endless. Our husbands go through a LOT. Leading a family is a huge responsibility to carry and honestly you can't really blame them if they get a little grouchy at times. The question is how do you help them come out of that grouchy state?

1. FEED HIM

It is incredible how much a good meal can change someone's mood. You can cook one of his favorite meals or take him out to dinner. Either way making sure he has a good meal in his stomach will do both of you a world of good. Especially if he doesn't have to pay.

2. Give him space

Whether it's playing a video game or taking a nap, give him some alone time. Most guys wrestle with their emotions inwardly and after they get the time to do that their mood changes. Alone time  allows them to distress and create a plan of action to handle whatever is bothering them.

3. Pray with him

Depending on his level of grouchiness he might not want to pray with you. In that case you should pray for him on your own. Either way you have to take the issue that is causing him to feel out of sorts to the Father. Remember a marriage consists of three parties: you, your husband, and God. anytime the two of you are having a rough day take it to prayer and God will help you sort it out. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

***BONUS***
If you haven't had sex in a while and there are no medical reasons that are keeping you from engaging in sex, it might be time to pull out the lingerie. Both of you need that time of intimacy. If you are letting you schedules keep you from handling your business in the bedroom, then you need to rearrange your priorities. We all know that men are visual creatures especially when it comes to how they express themselves sexually. Abstinence in marriage opens the door for temptation. (I Corinthians 7:5) Keep it sexy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No matter what you do, make sure you don't try to change your husband. You are not his Holy Spirit. Some people are more sullen and laid back than others and that is O.K. At the end of the day you are his help mate. So help him as best you can and leave the rest up to God.




Saturday, May 6, 2017

How to Communicate with your Spouse

One of the first things that any wise married person will tell you is that communication is the backbone of a marriage.
It takes a lot of maturity to get to this level. 
The same way your spine influences every other part of your body, your communication skills affect every other area of your marriage. Most arguments start because of miscommunication. It feels like they are speaking another language and you just can’t get through to them. Thankfully the book of Proverbs gives us some tips on how to communicate the right way.

Be tactful.

If you are already in a heated argument make sure that you “package your words correctly. Stay respectful and stay calm. That will help keep both of you from getting hurt and help resolve the situation faster.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Be discerning.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you figure out when you need to speak up and when you need to be quiet. 50% of communication is listening to the other person. It isn’t always all about you and your feelings.

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

Think before you open your mouth.

You cannot let your feelings take lead in your conversation. Feelings are fickle and you will end up looking foolish. Slow down and think about what you are going to say and how you are going to explain your point of view BEFORE you start talking.

“Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 29:20

Follow their instructions.

In marriage, God puts two imperfect people together to create a perfect union with Him at the center. As husband and wife you balance each other out. Depending on the situation you should follow your spouse’s instructions. For example, I am directionally challenged, John is not. So whenever we are on the road and I am driving I follow his instructions. I let him act as my GPS, because I know for a fact that getting around Charleston (or anywhere for that matter) is not my strong suit. On the other hand, John has more challenges in the kitchen than I do. So when we are cooking together he follows my lead. Because we listen to each other we never get lost and we have good food in the house.

“He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded.” Proverbs 13:13

It takes a lot of maturity to actively practice effective communication. It is not easy to hold onto your tongue when you want to tell you husband off. It takes a lot of strength to not be petty. Being mean is easy, it is part of our sin nature. But through the Holy Spirit we have the ability to be kind and loving with our words. We can only speak the truth in love when we let Him lead us. And when we start doing that, we begin building the foundation for a strong and healthy marriage.  

Check out my youtube channel tonight for a new video: "How to adjust to Married Life"


Monday, May 1, 2017

Journey to the Center of the Universe


So I had scheduled to release a blog about how to communicate with your spouse today…

But I just watched a John Piper sermon that WRECKED me. It can be summed up in one phrase.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

When I say ‘it”, I mean anything and everything you can possibly think of. We spend the majority of our lives doing what we want, finding ourselves, and doing what makes us "happy" no matter whom it hurts. We are missing the point, as Christians, God and His desires and rights as creator precede our own. He is the center of the universe (Romans 11:36) and life is out of balance when we act outside of his design and his will.

Ok Ori, I get it! I already put God at the center, chill.

Do you? … You can find the answer in two places: your check book (Matthew 6:21) and the things that keep you up at night (Matthew 6:31-32).

When God checked me on this I thought He was at the center. I made the grave mistake of putting my expectations, my dreams, my career, and my ministry at the center of the universe. So the past few years have been frustrating ,because I wasn’t living up to my plan for "my life". Even when little things started to fall into place, I wasn’t satisfied. Why, because the human heart is a bottomless pit of desire. After I realized this I struggled for a while trying to figure out what my next steps should be. 

I got a revelation this weekend. 

In the process of doing devotions God told me to write out everything I wanted…and then He told me to give it to Him. To surrender my desires EVERYDAY so that He can be glorified.

But…the house?...Surrender.
The car?... Surrender.
The money?...Surrender.
Surrender it all. Shift your perspective on your desires and focus on the real center of the universe.


As a human with a sin nature this is hard to swallow. But as a growing woman of God, I have no choice but to submit.

Will You?





Big Announcement

I just launched a youtube channel! I will be posting vlogs, studies on marriage, and faith every week. Check it OUT!