Finding the Motivation to Keep Going

This past week has been a struggle. The quiet times that used to be so intimate and highly anticipated lost their luster. I argued with God when my alarm went off in the morning. Saying things like:

I'm tired, God I just need to wait till eight.

God it’s too cold can’t we just have quiet time here?

God I just want to relax today can we take a break and just chill?

In a lot of ways I equate my quiet time to doing my duty and that has to change. By doing that I put myself in the optimal position to get burnt out and before I knew it I had no desire to do the things that used to get me out of bed excited about my day. I know what I’m called to do but somewhere along the line I lost the motivation to keep doing it. So today I decided enough was enough. I knew my lack of motivation was spiritual so I went to the father to resolve my issues. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t shy away from certain topics I just laid my life bare at his feet and I asked him to give me back my desire for him. Not a desire based out of duty or obligation. I want to desire God like the psalmist does in chapter 42. As the deer pants for the water so my soul longs for you. I want to truly enjoy God and share that enjoyment with everyone around me.

One of the biggest roadblocks that will keep motivation at bay is hiding from God. When your prayers become cryptic and guarded your heart starts to harden. Your spiritual senses aren’t as receptive as they once were and before you know it you will find yourself feeling alone and abandoned. I implore you today to follow what Luke 10:27 says:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” HCSB

Give him EVERYTHING. Tell him how you feel about the quality of your relationship. Be honest about your frustrations to stay motivated. Love God because you want to and be honest with him when you aren’t feeling it. Talk to Him even when you don’t want to. God is our only hope; he is the only way we can stay motivated to continue living this life. Don’t hold back.

  

Have you ever struggled to find motivation? Tell me your story in the comments.

5 Ways to Reconnect with your Spouse

Being married isn’t as difficult as many people make it. However if you are not intentional in your marriage it will grow dull and slip away from you. Staying connected with your spouse helps you both to remain on mission and fulfill your purpose as a couple. So I’ve compiled five tips that have helped me and hopefully they will inspire you to keep the flame alive.

Unplug

It is so easy to stay glued to our devices and ignore our spouses. So this is first because social media can take up HOURS of your day if you let it. All those hours could be better spent spending quality time with your spouse and rediscovering who they are. People grow all the time right under your nose and if you aren’t careful you can wake up next to a stranger.

Dates

Going on dates needs to be a regular occurrence in your household, whether you have children or not. Your spouse is your first ministry and second only to God on your list of priorities. Just remember you don’t have to break the bank to have a good time! Check out one of my previous blogs if you need some inspiration.

Stay in communication throughout the day

Check in on your spouse. If you work separate jobs you might have no idea what they are facing if you don’t ask. Give them time to vent on your lunch break or even via text, but I would say to check in at least once every day.

Have sex on a regular basis

There is a reason why God pushes married couples to have sex. Other than the obvious possibility of children sex allows you to be vulnerable and loved in a way that you can’t experience with any other human being. 1 Corinthians 7:5 clearly tells us to not deprive one another and the Song of Solomon gives you tons of ideas to keep things interesting in the bedroom. God is not anti-sex. It is a gift He has given to married people to help bring offspring into the world and raise them up to be Godly leaders while doubling as a tool of unparalleled human intimacy. Enjoy it.

Spend time in worship together

Last, but most certainly not least, spending time worshiping God together on a regular basis is probably one of the best things you could do for your relationship. Even if you do all the other tips and you ignore this one you are missing out on an experience that transforms you from the inside out. As a COUPLE. Worshiping alone is one thing, and it’s amazing, but sharing that intimate worship space with your spouse will blow your mind in a myriad of ways.

How do you reconnect with your spouse? Let me know in the comments!

Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook at facebook.com/oriannaofreverentia 

How to fall back in love with God

When we question God's character our faith that he cares about us begins to waver. We are drawn away from our first love by the things we think care about us more. The bible becomes an anthology instead of a love letter. God becomes a distant entity whose existence is questionable. Don't get me wrong, God hasn't fallen out of love with us, we are the problem. We are the ones who get bored with God. Our quiet times seem dull, worship services become routine, and our prayers begin to sound robotic. When we begin to display contempt for the things of God it shows in our relationships.  Our tempers are shorter, our patience is thin, and our hearts grow cold toward others. The good news is that in respect to our relationship with God the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" is not absolute. In my opinion the phrase should read "familiarity CAN breed contempt". The original phrase means that the depth of your closeness with others leads to a loss of respect for them. The modified phrase gives you an option. Your closeness can lead to contempt, but it can also lead to admiration and respect. When we seek to go deeper with God and we find his actions in a new passage puzzling, we have a choice. We can close our bibles and emotionally withdraw from God or we can allow the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to the truth of the passage. 

This happened to me when I read the story of Jephthah's daughter in Judges 11. At first glance it looks like God sanctioned a human sacrifice, and that confused me because it looked like God contradicted himself. For a few days... I stopped reading my bible. I mulled over so many different questions:  

Why didn't God allow a goat to meet Jephthah?

Did Jephthah really burn his only daughter alive? 

Why didn't God stop him like he stopped Abraham? 

Did God not consider her important enough to save?

Needless to say, by the end of the week I was distraught as I went deeper into the rabbit hole. It wasn't until I talked with my husband, conducted my own research, and prayed that I understood what truly took place. Jephthah's daughter wasn't sacrificed by fire, she was dedicated to the Lord and made to serve in the temple instead of living a normal life. 

So what do we do when God doesn't make sense?

How do we fall back in love?

1. Ask Questions.

Asking God about passages that confuse you is not sinful. He wants you to talk with Him. Especially when you are confused. By going to God first He will reassure you of his unchanging character, refresh your soul, and calm your spirit. He might lead you to someone in your church who you could talk to. We learn in community.

2. Do research and discover the context.

The internet is an amazing tool for discovering answers to biblical mysteries. One of my personal favorites is gotquestions.org. There are so many commentaries and research papers available to provide context and clarity. Your local library is another great resource.

3. Keep Reading. 

Don't let one puzzling story in the bible keep you from reading the rest of it. Go back, reinforce the foundational truths, and memorize those scriptures. God will reveal the answers to your questions as you continue to seek Him. Don't run away. 

Tell me about how you fell in love with God in the comments! 

Joint Resolutions

During the build up to this New Year a lot of people made resolutions and are hoping that they will be able to achieve their goals. With 2018 just beginning I wanted to write something to my fellow married couples. In 2016 I made a LOT of resolutions, but because I never told my husband about them there were a LOT of unnecessary arguments that came up in 2017. By not communicating our goals we set ourselves up for failure. So last week we sat down and made sure that our goals for 2018 were clear and out in the open, we checked the temperature of our
relationship in general and made some joint resolutions for 2018.

Why is this important?

Great relationships don’t happen by chance, you have to be intentional. By checking on the different areas of your marriage (spiritual, physical, emotional, etc.) you avoid the trap of living in a complacent marriage.

What are the benefits of doing this?

Having clear goals for the year will help you consistently make choices that help you reach those goals instead of coasting through life hoping things will work out. The amount of arguments in the house birthed out of unmet expectations will drastically decrease because the expectations for the year have already been laid out.  Joint resolutions also encourage you to build a deeper camaraderie with your spouse because these goals are things that you have to lean on each other (and God) in order to accomplish.

What is a joint resolution you and your spouse have? Let me know in the comments!

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