Before I got married I actually didn’t think this could happen. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that the man I had prayed for would ever fail me. I had built up this unrealistic image in my head of what my husband would be like and how he would treat me. Now that I am in the thick of marriage I know the truth. Failure at some point in time during the duration of our marriage is inevitable. Not because he wants to fail me but simply because he is human. As I accepted this truth I found that giving John (my husband) grace was necessary for our survival as a couple.
In essence there are two ways that your husband can fail you.
He can fail to meet your expectations of what a husband should be.
This failure can be manifested in a variety of forms: mismanagement of finances, pornographic addictions, lack of self control, wild tempers etc. All of these things don’t fit into the bubble that we put our husbands in before we marry them. And when they don’t pay the bills on time or bring home as much as we want them to, we get disappointed. When they fly off the handle and say vicious things just to win an argument we are baffled that they would stoop so low. And when they come home and tell us they had an affair with their secretary at work we are blinded by rage. As bad as these failures are, there is and even greater way that you husband can fail you.
He can fail to meet God’s standard of what a husband should be.
As the head of the house, the husband has a great amount of responsibility that God gives him and when he fails in this area, the spiritual repercussions can echo for generations to come. When he doesn’t cover you and the family in prayer, when he doesn’t lead by example and push the family to fellowship at church on a weekly basis. When he worships other “gods” like his material possessions and doesn’t make the true God a priority, it is easy for the rest of the family to get relaxed about all things spiritual.
No matter what happens, as a wife we have to readily forgive our husbands when they fail us. We have to extend the same grace and mercy that Christ gives us every time we fail God. It is easy to get blinded by our husbands’ shortcomings, but if we live in unforgiveness we will become bitter, and all of those toxic emotions will choke the life out of your relationship. So accept his humanity and give him grace when he fails, the love that you continue to show him will cover his mistakes. (1 Peter 4:8 NIV) As his wife it is your job description to encourage him and forgive him on a regular basis. Cover him in prayer, be open about your feelings, and watch God transform the way you view his failures and the way you handle them.
Stay tuned for this week’s Friday FLO "Dealing with Difficult People" at 7 p.m. EDT on my page.
Peace and Blessings