A few weeks ago I was watching a Facebook live video by Rekesha Pittman. I have long since forgotten what the original purpose of the video was but one of her statements hit me right between the eyes. “I pray that God gives me thick skin and a soft heart.” In her video she was addressing people in leadership, however I think this concept is something that we all need to grasp if we are going to effectively reach the lost.

So for all of us who have a smaller sphere of influence; here are some reasons why you should pray for thick skin and a soft heart.

You gain a backbone.

Having thick skin will help you not to bend to the will of others based on their emotional responses to your decisions. You aim to please and audience of one and their opinions about the way you live your life don’t have any negative psychological effects on your life.

Your compassion level skyrockets.

Not only do you brush off hateful commentaries but you begin to care about the source of them and the motives of the commentator. And as you begin to discover those motives, your heart softens towards them and you develop a desperate urge to pray for them on a regular basis, because the Holy Spirit allows you to see the person behind the hate. He shows you their fears and their insecurities and because you have been held back by those demons before you begin going to war for them because God shows you their potential for greatness in His kingdom. Everyone has a part to play in the body of Christ and you don’t allow a bristly personality to keep you from helping them grow and play their part.

Your witnessing efforts are more effective.

When you truly start to accept that you only have one audience and that everyone is here for a purpose, the fear you used to have when witnessing will disappear. There are over 300 times in the bible where God tells us not to be afraid. As you develop a thicker skin the fears of what people will think of you and how they will respond to you go out the window. As you develop a softer heart you will have a desire to share the freedom that you have in Christ with everyone you know. You can’t hide in the closet anymore. God is too good and people have too much potential for you to hide the joy that God has given you.

To be honest this is not an easy prayer to pray. And the process of it getting answered is difficult. You will be praying for people who have hurt you, people who get under your skin, and your flesh will fight against you tooth and nail the entire way. But the joy contentment, confidence, and peace that come with a thick skin and a soft heart out weigh the pain of the process.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PSA: I am working on a book and my goal is to finish it by the end of the summer. Follow me on Facebook for more details!

During the first 18 years of my life I didn’t take God seriously. I grew up in church and based on my understanding of what I was taught, I could never be good enough. This coupled with my natural inclination towards a fatalist mindset left me in many questionable circumstances for a “goody-two shoes”. My reasoning was that since I was never going to meet God standards I shouldn’t really bother. During my freshman year of college I put God on the back burner. I wanted to reinvent myself without His influence, my pastors, or my parents. But something shifted my sophomore year. My roommate started inviting me to bible study on Sunday nights. Since it was really informal and I was free to ask questions I kept going. (The fact that they fed us was a big help too.) I started falling in love with God again. I wanted to give Him every part of my life, simply because I loved Him. But I started to swing into a dangerous mindset of legality. I was trying to earn His love through works. And this left me in a worse mess than I had been before. I started to read my bible, pray, and serve out of duty instead of love. And the prison I found myself in was unbearable. I had to be perfect. There was no room for error in the mindset I had.  Thankfully with the help of some very patient mentors and hours of study on my own I don’t live in that prison anymore. So here are some truths and verses that helped me break out.

Romans 8

Although the entire book of Romans is bomb, chapter eight spoke to me during this time because I felt condemned with no way out on a regular basis. Meditating on this scripture, memorizing it, and embracing the freedom I have in Christ took some time, but I fall more in love with this passage every day, especially on my bad days.

People pleasing is for the birds

If I could shout this from every roof top in the world I would. This simple reality has saved me so much heart ache in the last few years. It took me a long time to realize that it is impossible to please everybody. Scripture says “If it be possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 NIV) Meaning there is a chance that you WON’T live at peace with everyone, and that is ok. Remember we perform for an audience of one.

Sanctification is a process and you need people to help make it happen

When it comes to living a life pleasing to God it will not happen overnight, and it definitely won’t happen when you are isolated. Having friends and family members that hold you accountable helps you stay close to God. However at the end of the day it is the Holy Spirit that changes your heart and convicts you of your sinful habits. And although it didn’t feel good at the time I am so thankful for conviction.

So if you find yourself in the prison of perfection, I encourage you to break out. The law has been fulfilled, we live under grace and there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God