The Myth Behind the Independent Woman

Western society is enamored with the idea of self reliance. Dependency is looked at as a weakness. A lot of women in western society have bought into the hype that being independent is the ultimate goal of life. I used to be one of those women. I would say things like:

“I have to take care of myself because nobody else will.”

“At the end of the day I’m the only one I can depend on.”

One of my past boyfriends actually made “Miss Independent” by Ne-Yo his ringtone for me (side note: I thank God I didn’t marry him.)

I believed the lie that with just enough hard work, just enough money, and just enough education, I could be independent from everyone. Independence is a lie for two reasons: first, the ultimate goal of life is to glorify God in all that we do (Col. 3:17) and second, there is no such thing as an independent person.

Financially responsible, yes.

Emotionally stable, sure.

Spiritually grounded, absolutely.

But we as humans do NOT have the ability to be independent. Everyone has to lean on someone or something at some point throughout their lifetime to function successfully.

The single career woman depends on her company to stay in business so she can pay her bills.

The married woman with kids depends on her husband to help raise them.

Even the woman with the financial clout of Oprah depends on her team of advisors to keep everything in order so she can continue to live comfortably.

Nobody is independent, but we fight tooth and nail to reach a state that God alone possesses. As women of God we must reevaluate our perspective of dependency. Weakness is not a liability when acknowledge God as your only source of strength. Webster defines dependence as the quality or state of being influenced, determined by, or subject to another. Think of the addict who has a dependence on painkillers. They can’t function without them. We have to get to a place spiritually where we can’t function without God. We need to be “addicted” to his presence. Our eyes have to look above the job, the husbands, and the money to realize that God is the source of it all. Even when we try to place material possessions or relationships as our source of fulfillment he is still responsible for every breath in our lungs and every beat of our hearts. We are all dependent on God whether we acknowledge him or not.

Today I implore you to put aside your pride and realize that all our efforts to be independent are futile because for all of humanity, there is no such thing. The good news is when you put your hope in God and depend on him alone, nothing is impossible.