How to fall back in love with God

When we question God's character our faith that he cares about us begins to waver. We are drawn away from our first love by the things we think care about us more. The bible becomes an anthology instead of a love letter. God becomes a distant entity whose existence is questionable. Don't get me wrong, God hasn't fallen out of love with us, we are the problem. We are the ones who get bored with God. Our quiet times seem dull, worship services become routine, and our prayers begin to sound robotic. When we begin to display contempt for the things of God it shows in our relationships.  Our tempers are shorter, our patience is thin, and our hearts grow cold toward others. The good news is that in respect to our relationship with God the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" is not absolute. In my opinion the phrase should read "familiarity CAN breed contempt". The original phrase means that the depth of your closeness with others leads to a loss of respect for them. The modified phrase gives you an option. Your closeness can lead to contempt, but it can also lead to admiration and respect. When we seek to go deeper with God and we find his actions in a new passage puzzling, we have a choice. We can close our bibles and emotionally withdraw from God or we can allow the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to the truth of the passage. 

This happened to me when I read the story of Jephthah's daughter in Judges 11. At first glance it looks like God sanctioned a human sacrifice, and that confused me because it looked like God contradicted himself. For a few days... I stopped reading my bible. I mulled over so many different questions:  

Why didn't God allow a goat to meet Jephthah?

Did Jephthah really burn his only daughter alive? 

Why didn't God stop him like he stopped Abraham? 

Did God not consider her important enough to save?

Needless to say, by the end of the week I was distraught as I went deeper into the rabbit hole. It wasn't until I talked with my husband, conducted my own research, and prayed that I understood what truly took place. Jephthah's daughter wasn't sacrificed by fire, she was dedicated to the Lord and made to serve in the temple instead of living a normal life. 

So what do we do when God doesn't make sense?

How do we fall back in love?

1. Ask Questions.

Asking God about passages that confuse you is not sinful. He wants you to talk with Him. Especially when you are confused. By going to God first He will reassure you of his unchanging character, refresh your soul, and calm your spirit. He might lead you to someone in your church who you could talk to. We learn in community.

2. Do research and discover the context.

The internet is an amazing tool for discovering answers to biblical mysteries. One of my personal favorites is gotquestions.org. There are so many commentaries and research papers available to provide context and clarity. Your local library is another great resource.

3. Keep Reading. 

Don't let one puzzling story in the bible keep you from reading the rest of it. Go back, reinforce the foundational truths, and memorize those scriptures. God will reveal the answers to your questions as you continue to seek Him. Don't run away. 

Tell me about how you fell in love with God in the comments! 

Joint Resolutions

During the build up to this New Year a lot of people made resolutions and are hoping that they will be able to achieve their goals. With 2018 just beginning I wanted to write something to my fellow married couples. In 2016 I made a LOT of resolutions, but because I never told my husband about them there were a LOT of unnecessary arguments that came up in 2017. By not communicating our goals we set ourselves up for failure. So last week we sat down and made sure that our goals for 2018 were clear and out in the open, we checked the temperature of our
relationship in general and made some joint resolutions for 2018.

Why is this important?

Great relationships don’t happen by chance, you have to be intentional. By checking on the different areas of your marriage (spiritual, physical, emotional, etc.) you avoid the trap of living in a complacent marriage.

What are the benefits of doing this?

Having clear goals for the year will help you consistently make choices that help you reach those goals instead of coasting through life hoping things will work out. The amount of arguments in the house birthed out of unmet expectations will drastically decrease because the expectations for the year have already been laid out.  Joint resolutions also encourage you to build a deeper camaraderie with your spouse because these goals are things that you have to lean on each other (and God) in order to accomplish.

What is a joint resolution you and your spouse have? Let me know in the comments!

Be sure to follow me on Facebook to catch up with me throughout the week! (Facebook.com/oriannaofreverentia)

 Check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx0JXwWISJS1hwOF4Uti1Uw

The Myth Behind the Independent Woman

Western society is enamored with the idea of self reliance. Dependency is looked at as a weakness. A lot of women in western society have bought into the hype that being independent is the ultimate goal of life. I used to be one of those women. I would say things like:

“I have to take care of myself because nobody else will.”

“At the end of the day I’m the only one I can depend on.”

One of my past boyfriends actually made “Miss Independent” by Ne-Yo his ringtone for me (side note: I thank God I didn’t marry him.)

I believed the lie that with just enough hard work, just enough money, and just enough education, I could be independent from everyone. Independence is a lie for two reasons: first, the ultimate goal of life is to glorify God in all that we do (Col. 3:17) and second, there is no such thing as an independent person.

Financially responsible, yes.

Emotionally stable, sure.

Spiritually grounded, absolutely.

But we as humans do NOT have the ability to be independent. Everyone has to lean on someone or something at some point throughout their lifetime to function successfully.

The single career woman depends on her company to stay in business so she can pay her bills.

The married woman with kids depends on her husband to help raise them.

Even the woman with the financial clout of Oprah depends on her team of advisors to keep everything in order so she can continue to live comfortably.

Nobody is independent, but we fight tooth and nail to reach a state that God alone possesses. As women of God we must reevaluate our perspective of dependency. Weakness is not a liability when acknowledge God as your only source of strength. Webster defines dependence as the quality or state of being influenced, determined by, or subject to another. Think of the addict who has a dependence on painkillers. They can’t function without them. We have to get to a place spiritually where we can’t function without God. We need to be “addicted” to his presence. Our eyes have to look above the job, the husbands, and the money to realize that God is the source of it all. Even when we try to place material possessions or relationships as our source of fulfillment he is still responsible for every breath in our lungs and every beat of our hearts. We are all dependent on God whether we acknowledge him or not.

Today I implore you to put aside your pride and realize that all our efforts to be independent are futile because for all of humanity, there is no such thing. The good news is when you put your hope in God and depend on him alone, nothing is impossible.