Joint Resolutions

During the build up to this New Year a lot of people made resolutions and are hoping that they will be able to achieve their goals. With 2018 just beginning I wanted to write something to my fellow married couples. In 2016 I made a LOT of resolutions, but because I never told my husband about them there were a LOT of unnecessary arguments that came up in 2017. By not communicating our goals we set ourselves up for failure. So last week we sat down and made sure that our goals for 2018 were clear and out in the open, we checked the temperature of our
relationship in general and made some joint resolutions for 2018.

Why is this important?

Great relationships don’t happen by chance, you have to be intentional. By checking on the different areas of your marriage (spiritual, physical, emotional, etc.) you avoid the trap of living in a complacent marriage.

What are the benefits of doing this?

Having clear goals for the year will help you consistently make choices that help you reach those goals instead of coasting through life hoping things will work out. The amount of arguments in the house birthed out of unmet expectations will drastically decrease because the expectations for the year have already been laid out.  Joint resolutions also encourage you to build a deeper camaraderie with your spouse because these goals are things that you have to lean on each other (and God) in order to accomplish.

What is a joint resolution you and your spouse have? Let me know in the comments!

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There a plethora of reasons why your husband can be grouchy.

A bad day at work.

Disrespectful kids.

The pressure to provide.

The list is endless. Our husbands go through a LOT. Leading a family is a huge responsibility to carry and honestly you can't really blame them if they get a little grouchy at times. The question is how do you help them come out of that grouchy state?

1. FEED HIM

It is incredible how much a good meal can change someone's mood. You can cook one of his favorite meals or take him out to dinner. Either way making sure he has a good meal in his stomach will do both of you a world of good. Especially if he doesn't have to pay.

2. Give him space

Whether it's playing a video game or taking a nap, give him some alone time. Most guys wrestle with their emotions inwardly and after they get the time to do that their mood changes. Alone time  allows them to distress and create a plan of action to handle whatever is bothering them.

3. Pray with him

Depending on his level of grouchiness he might not want to pray with you. In that case you should pray for him on your own. Either way you have to take the issue that is causing him to feel out of sorts to the Father. Remember a marriage consists of three parties: you, your husband, and God. anytime the two of you are having a rough day take it to prayer and God will help you sort it out. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

***BONUS***

If you haven't had sex in a while and there are no medical reasons that are keeping you from engaging in sex, it might be time to pull out the lingerie. Both of you need that time of intimacy. If you are letting you schedules keep you from handling your business in the bedroom, then you need to rearrange your priorities. We all know that men are visual creatures especially when it comes to how they express themselves sexually. Abstinence in marriage opens the door for temptation. (I Corinthians 7:5) Keep it sexy.

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No matter what you do, make sure you don't try to change your husband. You are not his Holy Spirit. Some people are more sullen and laid back than others and that is O.K. At the end of the day you are his help mate. So help him as best you can and leave the rest up to God.

Journey to the Center of the Universe

So I had scheduled to release a blog about how to communicate with your spouse today…

But I just watched a John Piper sermon that WRECKED me. It can be summed up in one phrase.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

When I say ‘it”, I mean anything and everything you can possibly think of. We spend the majority of our lives doing what we want, finding ourselves, and doing what makes us "happy" no matter whom it hurts. We are missing the point, as Christians, God and His desires and rights as creator precede our own. He is the center of the universe (Romans 11:36) and life is out of balance when we act outside of his design and his will.

Ok Ori, I get it! I already put God at the center, chill.

Do you? … You can find the answer in two places: your check book (Matthew 6:21) and the things that keep you up at night (Matthew 6:31-32).

When God checked me on this I thought He was at the center. I made the grave mistake of putting my expectations, my dreams, my career, and my ministry at the center of the universe. So the past few years have been frustrating ,because I wasn’t living up to my plan for "my life". Even when little things started to fall into place, I wasn’t satisfied. Why, because the human heart is a bottomless pit of desire. After I realized this I struggled for a while trying to figure out what my next steps should be. 

I got a revelation this weekend. 

In the process of doing devotions God told me to write out everything I wanted…and then He told me to give it to Him. To surrender my desires EVERYDAY so that He can be glorified.

But…the house?...Surrender.

The car?... Surrender.

The money?...Surrender.

Surrender it all. Shift your perspective on your desires and focus on the real center of the universe.

As a human with a sin nature this is hard to swallow. But as a growing woman of God, I have no choice but to submit.

Will You?

Big Announcement

I just launched a youtube channel! I will be posting vlogs, studies on marriage, and faith every week. Check it OUT!