Finding the Motivation to Keep Going

This past week has been a struggle. The quiet times that used to be so intimate and highly anticipated lost their luster. I argued with God when my alarm went off in the morning. Saying things like:

I'm tired, God I just need to wait till eight.

God it’s too cold can’t we just have quiet time here?

God I just want to relax today can we take a break and just chill?

In a lot of ways I equate my quiet time to doing my duty and that has to change. By doing that I put myself in the optimal position to get burnt out and before I knew it I had no desire to do the things that used to get me out of bed excited about my day. I know what I’m called to do but somewhere along the line I lost the motivation to keep doing it. So today I decided enough was enough. I knew my lack of motivation was spiritual so I went to the father to resolve my issues. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t shy away from certain topics I just laid my life bare at his feet and I asked him to give me back my desire for him. Not a desire based out of duty or obligation. I want to desire God like the psalmist does in chapter 42. As the deer pants for the water so my soul longs for you. I want to truly enjoy God and share that enjoyment with everyone around me.

One of the biggest roadblocks that will keep motivation at bay is hiding from God. When your prayers become cryptic and guarded your heart starts to harden. Your spiritual senses aren’t as receptive as they once were and before you know it you will find yourself feeling alone and abandoned. I implore you today to follow what Luke 10:27 says:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” HCSB

Give him EVERYTHING. Tell him how you feel about the quality of your relationship. Be honest about your frustrations to stay motivated. Love God because you want to and be honest with him when you aren’t feeling it. Talk to Him even when you don’t want to. God is our only hope; he is the only way we can stay motivated to continue living this life. Don’t hold back.

  

Have you ever struggled to find motivation? Tell me your story in the comments.

The Myth Behind the Independent Woman

Western society is enamored with the idea of self reliance. Dependency is looked at as a weakness. A lot of women in western society have bought into the hype that being independent is the ultimate goal of life. I used to be one of those women. I would say things like:

“I have to take care of myself because nobody else will.”

“At the end of the day I’m the only one I can depend on.”

One of my past boyfriends actually made “Miss Independent” by Ne-Yo his ringtone for me (side note: I thank God I didn’t marry him.)

I believed the lie that with just enough hard work, just enough money, and just enough education, I could be independent from everyone. Independence is a lie for two reasons: first, the ultimate goal of life is to glorify God in all that we do (Col. 3:17) and second, there is no such thing as an independent person.

Financially responsible, yes.

Emotionally stable, sure.

Spiritually grounded, absolutely.

But we as humans do NOT have the ability to be independent. Everyone has to lean on someone or something at some point throughout their lifetime to function successfully.

The single career woman depends on her company to stay in business so she can pay her bills.

The married woman with kids depends on her husband to help raise them.

Even the woman with the financial clout of Oprah depends on her team of advisors to keep everything in order so she can continue to live comfortably.

Nobody is independent, but we fight tooth and nail to reach a state that God alone possesses. As women of God we must reevaluate our perspective of dependency. Weakness is not a liability when acknowledge God as your only source of strength. Webster defines dependence as the quality or state of being influenced, determined by, or subject to another. Think of the addict who has a dependence on painkillers. They can’t function without them. We have to get to a place spiritually where we can’t function without God. We need to be “addicted” to his presence. Our eyes have to look above the job, the husbands, and the money to realize that God is the source of it all. Even when we try to place material possessions or relationships as our source of fulfillment he is still responsible for every breath in our lungs and every beat of our hearts. We are all dependent on God whether we acknowledge him or not.

Today I implore you to put aside your pride and realize that all our efforts to be independent are futile because for all of humanity, there is no such thing. The good news is when you put your hope in God and depend on him alone, nothing is impossible. 

The Bible is an amazing book. It is extremely complex and extremely long. It is comprised of 66 books, by 40 authors but it is all God inspired. As Christians it is one of the best tools we have to navigate this life in a way that honors God. Whether you are a new Christian or you have been following God for the last 40 years there are a few practical basics that we all need to adhere to in order to effectively study the Bible.

1. Get a Bible you can understand.

According to Google, as of September 2016 the bible has been translated into 636 different languages. Therefore it stands to reason that there is a Bible out there that you can read and understand. So check online or at your local Christian bookstore for a bible that makes sense when you read it. All versions of the bible are NOT created equally, especially those that have been translated to English. For some people a King James Version is going to give them a headache and for others they can’t get enough of it. Click the link for more information on the various versions of the bible.

2. Get a journal.

You will be taking a LOT of notes on the scriptures you read, so find a journal that fits your fancy, and start writing down what God teaches you as you read his word. Write down your prayers and when they get answered. Write out the revelations you have as you read. Write out your doubts, fears, and frustrations as you go through life. Write down EVERYTHING.

3. Pick a place to study.

Don’t try to get to fancy with this, it doesn’t have to be heavily decorated, but you should find a place where you can be alone with God. For some people it’s a locked bathroom away from the kids. For me, it’s my kitchen table after my husband goes to work. Just pick a place and meet there consistently with God.

4. Start Small

Don’t try to go over 10-15 minutes and don’t try to read multiple chapters at a time. I say this because when you take the bible in small chunks you won’t feel pressed to try to understand the entire book in one sitting. Take your time and chew on a few scriptures, then sit quietly and listen to what God has to say about how you should apply those scriptures to your life.

5. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Pray before you read your bible, while you are reading your bible, and after you finish. Talk to God as you take notes and listen to what he is saying to you while you are reading. Prayer is communication; it is not a speech, just a simple conversation, so take your time, talk and listen.

6. Use your tools wisely

There are two things other than the Holy Spirit that make my bible study effective; my concordance and biblical commentaries. My concordance helps me make the word of God personal to whatever I am going through. Most bibles have the concordance in the back, so when I am having a bout with anger I can flip back to the index and find ALL of the scriptures in my bible about anger. Once I do that I study those scriptures and I break them down. Rebuilding arguments and searching for God’s say on the matter. In my research I discover how he treated angry people and how he handled his anger. By the time I am finished I have a whole host of notes to review about God’s perspective on anger and how it should be handled. Doing this makes it easier to apply it to my life.

Now biblical commentaries come in many forms. Blog posts, sermons, Facebook posts, and even the notes underneath a passage you are studying (especially if you have an Amplified bible). All of these tools help me to see the scriptures from different perspectives. I can understand how God explained the passage to the commentators and if they are really good they will give me the tools on how to apply it to my daily life. Two websites that have been especially helpful are gotquestions.org and desiringgod.org

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The biggest part of studying the bible is to remember that it is just that, a STUDY. This is not something that you will understand in one day. But by being consistent, using your tools wisely, praying, starting small, picking a place to meet God, getting a journal, and getting a bible you can understand you will be well on your way. Before you know it will consume you to the point that you don’t want to put it down.

Jeremiah 29:13 ESV

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Click the link to Tune in at 7 p.m. EDT for my #Fridayflo on giving God lip service. 

  

A few weeks ago I was watching a Facebook live video by Rekesha Pittman. I have long since forgotten what the original purpose of the video was but one of her statements hit me right between the eyes. “I pray that God gives me thick skin and a soft heart.” In her video she was addressing people in leadership, however I think this concept is something that we all need to grasp if we are going to effectively reach the lost.

So for all of us who have a smaller sphere of influence; here are some reasons why you should pray for thick skin and a soft heart.

You gain a backbone.

Having thick skin will help you not to bend to the will of others based on their emotional responses to your decisions. You aim to please and audience of one and their opinions about the way you live your life don’t have any negative psychological effects on your life.

Your compassion level skyrockets.

Not only do you brush off hateful commentaries but you begin to care about the source of them and the motives of the commentator. And as you begin to discover those motives, your heart softens towards them and you develop a desperate urge to pray for them on a regular basis, because the Holy Spirit allows you to see the person behind the hate. He shows you their fears and their insecurities and because you have been held back by those demons before you begin going to war for them because God shows you their potential for greatness in His kingdom. Everyone has a part to play in the body of Christ and you don’t allow a bristly personality to keep you from helping them grow and play their part.

Your witnessing efforts are more effective.

When you truly start to accept that you only have one audience and that everyone is here for a purpose, the fear you used to have when witnessing will disappear. There are over 300 times in the bible where God tells us not to be afraid. As you develop a thicker skin the fears of what people will think of you and how they will respond to you go out the window. As you develop a softer heart you will have a desire to share the freedom that you have in Christ with everyone you know. You can’t hide in the closet anymore. God is too good and people have too much potential for you to hide the joy that God has given you.

To be honest this is not an easy prayer to pray. And the process of it getting answered is difficult. You will be praying for people who have hurt you, people who get under your skin, and your flesh will fight against you tooth and nail the entire way. But the joy contentment, confidence, and peace that come with a thick skin and a soft heart out weigh the pain of the process.

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PSA: I am working on a book and my goal is to finish it by the end of the summer. Follow me on Facebook for more details!

During the first 18 years of my life I didn’t take God seriously. I grew up in church and based on my understanding of what I was taught, I could never be good enough. This coupled with my natural inclination towards a fatalist mindset left me in many questionable circumstances for a “goody-two shoes”. My reasoning was that since I was never going to meet God standards I shouldn’t really bother. During my freshman year of college I put God on the back burner. I wanted to reinvent myself without His influence, my pastors, or my parents. But something shifted my sophomore year. My roommate started inviting me to bible study on Sunday nights. Since it was really informal and I was free to ask questions I kept going. (The fact that they fed us was a big help too.) I started falling in love with God again. I wanted to give Him every part of my life, simply because I loved Him. But I started to swing into a dangerous mindset of legality. I was trying to earn His love through works. And this left me in a worse mess than I had been before. I started to read my bible, pray, and serve out of duty instead of love. And the prison I found myself in was unbearable. I had to be perfect. There was no room for error in the mindset I had.  Thankfully with the help of some very patient mentors and hours of study on my own I don’t live in that prison anymore. So here are some truths and verses that helped me break out.

Romans 8

Although the entire book of Romans is bomb, chapter eight spoke to me during this time because I felt condemned with no way out on a regular basis. Meditating on this scripture, memorizing it, and embracing the freedom I have in Christ took some time, but I fall more in love with this passage every day, especially on my bad days.

People pleasing is for the birds

If I could shout this from every roof top in the world I would. This simple reality has saved me so much heart ache in the last few years. It took me a long time to realize that it is impossible to please everybody. Scripture says “If it be possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 NIV) Meaning there is a chance that you WON’T live at peace with everyone, and that is ok. Remember we perform for an audience of one.

Sanctification is a process and you need people to help make it happen

When it comes to living a life pleasing to God it will not happen overnight, and it definitely won’t happen when you are isolated. Having friends and family members that hold you accountable helps you stay close to God. However at the end of the day it is the Holy Spirit that changes your heart and convicts you of your sinful habits. And although it didn’t feel good at the time I am so thankful for conviction.

So if you find yourself in the prison of perfection, I encourage you to break out. The law has been fulfilled, we live under grace and there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God

How to Be Patient

Everyone is waiting for something. Christian or not we all have to be patient at sometime or another. Unfortunately most of us are not very good at it, my self included.

Any time I think of being patient, I think of fishing... I HATE fishing. I like the results, but I'm not a big fan of the process. I mean it takes HOURS to catch ONE fish. So like most people I go to the market and I profit off of someone else's patience.Or at least we think we are profiting. At the end of the day we are getting one meal and they are getting money they can reinvest into their business. The fishing company probably started out as a small business, and their ability to be patient allowed them to become a big time distributor, but it took TIME. The lesson we pull from this is that we have to be patient,with our family, our spouses, and our faith walks. Actively patient. You aren't doing anyone any good by sitting around stagnantly waiting for your blessing. 

So how do you learn to be patient? You keep yourself busy in the process. Hustle while you wait. As a small business owner I am getting first hand experience with this. I get discouraged and there are times I want to throw in the towel, because God isn't blessing me on my schedule. I want that check for ten million bucks from a private investor to come in the mail TOMORROW. 

But...

I remember Philippians 4:8, and I refocus. I remember Isaiah 55:8, I take a deep breath, I push myself to trust his timing, and I move forward in obedience. I keep going to vending events even though I don't get and orders or donations. I keep going to networking events, even though I don't feel up to par with anyone in the room. I keep doing free giveaways and Facebook promotions, because I know that my obedience WILL pay off. I capture all my negative thoughts and I make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). He is my provider and I have to rest in that promise, even when my human logic tells me otherwise. 

Rest in his promise, and hustle while you wait.

Orianna