5 Ways to Reconnect with your Spouse

Being married isn’t as difficult as many people make it. However if you are not intentional in your marriage it will grow dull and slip away from you. Staying connected with your spouse helps you both to remain on mission and fulfill your purpose as a couple. So I’ve compiled five tips that have helped me and hopefully they will inspire you to keep the flame alive.

Unplug

It is so easy to stay glued to our devices and ignore our spouses. So this is first because social media can take up HOURS of your day if you let it. All those hours could be better spent spending quality time with your spouse and rediscovering who they are. People grow all the time right under your nose and if you aren’t careful you can wake up next to a stranger.

Dates

Going on dates needs to be a regular occurrence in your household, whether you have children or not. Your spouse is your first ministry and second only to God on your list of priorities. Just remember you don’t have to break the bank to have a good time! Check out one of my previous blogs if you need some inspiration.

Stay in communication throughout the day

Check in on your spouse. If you work separate jobs you might have no idea what they are facing if you don’t ask. Give them time to vent on your lunch break or even via text, but I would say to check in at least once every day.

Have sex on a regular basis

There is a reason why God pushes married couples to have sex. Other than the obvious possibility of children sex allows you to be vulnerable and loved in a way that you can’t experience with any other human being. 1 Corinthians 7:5 clearly tells us to not deprive one another and the Song of Solomon gives you tons of ideas to keep things interesting in the bedroom. God is not anti-sex. It is a gift He has given to married people to help bring offspring into the world and raise them up to be Godly leaders while doubling as a tool of unparalleled human intimacy. Enjoy it.

Spend time in worship together

Last, but most certainly not least, spending time worshiping God together on a regular basis is probably one of the best things you could do for your relationship. Even if you do all the other tips and you ignore this one you are missing out on an experience that transforms you from the inside out. As a COUPLE. Worshiping alone is one thing, and it’s amazing, but sharing that intimate worship space with your spouse will blow your mind in a myriad of ways.

How do you reconnect with your spouse? Let me know in the comments!

Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook at facebook.com/oriannaofreverentia 

How to Communicate with your Spouse

One of the first things that any wise married person will tell you is that communication is the backbone of a marriage.

It takes a lot of maturity to get to this level. 

The same way your spine influences every other part of your body, your communication skills affect every other area of your marriage. Most arguments start because of miscommunication. It feels like they are speaking another language and you just can’t get through to them. Thankfully the book of Proverbs gives us some tips on how to communicate the right way.

Be tactful.

If you are already in a heated argument make sure that you “package your words correctly. Stay respectful and stay calm. That will help keep both of you from getting hurt and help resolve the situation faster.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Be discerning.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you figure out when you need to speak up and when you need to be quiet. 50% of communication is listening to the other person. It isn’t always all about you and your feelings.

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even tempered.” Proverbs 17:27

Think before you open your mouth.

You cannot let your feelings take lead in your conversation. Feelings are fickle and you will end up looking foolish. Slow down and think about what you are going to say and how you are going to explain your point of view BEFORE you start talking.

“Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 29:20

Follow their instructions.

In marriage, God puts two imperfect people together to create a perfect union with Him at the center. As husband and wife you balance each other out. Depending on the situation you should follow your spouse’s instructions. For example, I am directionally challenged, John is not. So whenever we are on the road and I am driving I follow his instructions. I let him act as my GPS, because I know for a fact that getting around Charleston (or anywhere for that matter) is not my strong suit. On the other hand, John has more challenges in the kitchen than I do. So when we are cooking together he follows my lead. Because we listen to each other we never get lost and we have good food in the house.

“He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded.” Proverbs 13:13

It takes a lot of maturity to actively practice effective communication. It is not easy to hold onto your tongue when you want to tell you husband off. It takes a lot of strength to not be petty. Being mean is easy, it is part of our sin nature. But through the Holy Spirit we have the ability to be kind and loving with our words. We can only speak the truth in love when we let Him lead us. And when we start doing that, we begin building the foundation for a strong and healthy marriage.  

Check out my youtube channel tonight for a new video: "How to adjust to Married Life"