Surviving the Holidays

The holidays can be awesome but if you don’t plan correctly they can send your cortisol levels through the roof. This is the time of year where you are around two kinds of people; those who know you really REALLY well and have the ability to stay on your LAST nerve or those who are trying too hard to get to know you and have an opinion about EVERYTHING  you have ever done in the history of existence. Between fellowshipping with family, keeping the house in order, and serving at church, the holidays can easily become a time you dread instead of what they are meant to be, a HOLIDAY. So here are a few tips to help you survive: 

Don’t add projects to your schedule last minute.

Last minute plans always lead to unnecessary stress. There is nothing wrong with saying no to people. Your mental health is more important. It doesn’t matter who it is: church family, lifelong friends or you grandmother. If it’s the week of Christmas and they are asking you to make a huge change that you have to go out of your way to do, you should probably say no. As of now we have 42 days left until Christmas. Get your travel plans and itineraries together now so you can actually enjoy time with your family.

Take care of home first.

Speaking of family, the people in your house are your first priority. For example, if it’s not in the budget to go to the family reunion this year, that’s ok. Save up and make arrangements for next year. It is unwise to put your household in dire straits to impress people. A lot of people go into a great deal of debt at this time of year trying to make it out to all the family events with the nicest gifts. That is unnecessary and honestly it is financially irresponsible. The most effective way to take care of your home is to actually BE at home, so if you can’t afford to go, DON’T. Show love to the people in your house by keeping them at the top tier of your priority list.  

Plan time for yourself now, (there is value in slipping away).

One thing that I have noticed about the holidays is that I have a habit of neglecting my quiet time when I’m around my family. The funny thing is I need the Holy Spirit to guide me all the more when I’m with my family because they know how to push all my buttons. No matter how far you travel make sure you take your bible with you. There is not a single family event that you will go to where you won’t need the Holy Spirit to help you hold your tongue, give you discernment, and keep you at peace in the midst of everyone else’s chaos. So find moments where you can slip away, pray, and breathe. Make room for your quiet time when you know the family will be sleeping or out getting groceries. The time is there you just have to steward it correctly.

As we step into the thick of the Holiday season I pray that you will protect your peace and keep your priorities in order. 

Peace & Blessings

Prayer 101

This post is going to be a bit different, since prayer is a conversation; I am pushing to write this as though we are sitting down and talking together.

If I’m being perfectly honest prayer is something that I have been struggling to get a grasp on for a while. When I first got saved it was because God answered my prayer. I knew it was God because there was no other explanation for what happened. Since that time I have learned to lean more and more on talking to God as an outlet for my frustration and as a way to get to know him better. However, I have heard a lot of different teachings on prayer that I still don’t understand and I’m not even sure if they are biblical. For example in Matthew 18:18-20 Jesus is talking about binding and loosing things in heaven and on earth. When I look at the context of the passage I can presume he is talking to the disciples, which makes me question if I actually have the authority to do what the disciples did since he wasn’t talking to me but to them. Sometimes our prayers are more cultural colloquialisms than real genuine prayers. Such as speaking things into existence and commanding angels. Yes life and death is in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) but if you are “speaking things into existence” that go against the will of God they are NOT going to happen. There also isn’t any scriptural reference for humans commanding angels, God commands angels to help us if we ask him, and we do not have any authority over angels.  So I take these truths into consideration when I pray because the way I look at it, God is the only one who can do those things. And I get so sad when I see posts on Facebook where people are binding spirits, speaking prosperity over their lives, and rebuking Satan because I’m not sure if they actually have the power to do that and are therefore wasting their time.

What I do know for a fact is that God definitely has the power to do all of these things and more and for me right now I go the route of asking him to do them. For example I am more likely to pray something like: “Lord if it be your will take this headache away and bring healing to my body” than “I bind this spirit of infirmity”. The second prayer places me as the source of my healing and that is unbiblical. So as I continue to grow in Christ and get a full understanding of what I do and don’t have the power to do, I lean on the Holy Spirit and the Bible for wisdom on how to pray appropriately. I look at the psalms and I see the way David prayed. I read about how Moses and Ezekiel conversed with God and then I go back to the outline Jesus gave for prayer. After I put all of that together I can humbly come before God and have a casual, honest conversation.

One of the biggest things I have learned about prayer this year is that sprinkling the phrase in Jesus name at the end of a rant doesn’t make the prayer genuine or increase its chances of going past the ceiling. I know this because I did this, for YEARS, and I kept wondering why God wasn’t listening to me. Once I realized that prayer is more than just me ranting and raving to God about all of my issues, I began to see changes in my heart, my perspective, and my life. I hope that through some intense study and genuine prayer of your own you will begin to see major changes in your prayer life as well.

A few weeks ago I was watching a Facebook live video by Rekesha Pittman. I have long since forgotten what the original purpose of the video was but one of her statements hit me right between the eyes. “I pray that God gives me thick skin and a soft heart.” In her video she was addressing people in leadership, however I think this concept is something that we all need to grasp if we are going to effectively reach the lost.

So for all of us who have a smaller sphere of influence; here are some reasons why you should pray for thick skin and a soft heart.

You gain a backbone.

Having thick skin will help you not to bend to the will of others based on their emotional responses to your decisions. You aim to please and audience of one and their opinions about the way you live your life don’t have any negative psychological effects on your life.

Your compassion level skyrockets.

Not only do you brush off hateful commentaries but you begin to care about the source of them and the motives of the commentator. And as you begin to discover those motives, your heart softens towards them and you develop a desperate urge to pray for them on a regular basis, because the Holy Spirit allows you to see the person behind the hate. He shows you their fears and their insecurities and because you have been held back by those demons before you begin going to war for them because God shows you their potential for greatness in His kingdom. Everyone has a part to play in the body of Christ and you don’t allow a bristly personality to keep you from helping them grow and play their part.

Your witnessing efforts are more effective.

When you truly start to accept that you only have one audience and that everyone is here for a purpose, the fear you used to have when witnessing will disappear. There are over 300 times in the bible where God tells us not to be afraid. As you develop a thicker skin the fears of what people will think of you and how they will respond to you go out the window. As you develop a softer heart you will have a desire to share the freedom that you have in Christ with everyone you know. You can’t hide in the closet anymore. God is too good and people have too much potential for you to hide the joy that God has given you.

To be honest this is not an easy prayer to pray. And the process of it getting answered is difficult. You will be praying for people who have hurt you, people who get under your skin, and your flesh will fight against you tooth and nail the entire way. But the joy contentment, confidence, and peace that come with a thick skin and a soft heart out weigh the pain of the process.

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PSA: I am working on a book and my goal is to finish it by the end of the summer. Follow me on Facebook for more details!

Journey to the Center of the Universe

So I had scheduled to release a blog about how to communicate with your spouse today…

But I just watched a John Piper sermon that WRECKED me. It can be summed up in one phrase.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

When I say ‘it”, I mean anything and everything you can possibly think of. We spend the majority of our lives doing what we want, finding ourselves, and doing what makes us "happy" no matter whom it hurts. We are missing the point, as Christians, God and His desires and rights as creator precede our own. He is the center of the universe (Romans 11:36) and life is out of balance when we act outside of his design and his will.

Ok Ori, I get it! I already put God at the center, chill.

Do you? … You can find the answer in two places: your check book (Matthew 6:21) and the things that keep you up at night (Matthew 6:31-32).

When God checked me on this I thought He was at the center. I made the grave mistake of putting my expectations, my dreams, my career, and my ministry at the center of the universe. So the past few years have been frustrating ,because I wasn’t living up to my plan for "my life". Even when little things started to fall into place, I wasn’t satisfied. Why, because the human heart is a bottomless pit of desire. After I realized this I struggled for a while trying to figure out what my next steps should be. 

I got a revelation this weekend. 

In the process of doing devotions God told me to write out everything I wanted…and then He told me to give it to Him. To surrender my desires EVERYDAY so that He can be glorified.

But…the house?...Surrender.

The car?... Surrender.

The money?...Surrender.

Surrender it all. Shift your perspective on your desires and focus on the real center of the universe.

As a human with a sin nature this is hard to swallow. But as a growing woman of God, I have no choice but to submit.

Will You?

Big Announcement

I just launched a youtube channel! I will be posting vlogs, studies on marriage, and faith every week. Check it OUT!