Marriage Uncut: Body Image

We all know the verse Psalms 139:14 … I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Well for a long time I struggled to accept that. For the majority of my life I struggled with a negative body image and those struggles followed me into marriage. Even to this day I have to push to not compare my looks with my friends. From the time I was eight until I got to college I avoided mirrors. Every time someone complimented me I thought they did it out of pity instead of sincerity. The bullies at school did nothing but affirm my negative self image.

“Your body is disgusting; no one wants to see that!”
 -Middle School Locker Room

“Your nose makes you look like a shark. You should get surgery.”
- High School Backstage

“She is so ugly she will never get a man.”
- High School, Dance Class

 Years have passed, the voices of my naysayers have faded, and I have forgiven those who used to mistreat me. However, I still have a small voice in the back of my head that will speak up on occasion and tell me, I’m too fat, I’m not good enough, and I will never be able to change. The only difference is now I'm married. 

WAIT... shouldn't that change everything?

Not necessarily..

If I know I am physically desirable to my husband, why do I STILL feel like this. Well at the end of the day the way I view my body has nothing to do with him. He can tell me I am the most beautiful woman in the world until he is blue in the face, but until I believe that I am attractive it won’t make a difference. Since the beginning of 2017 God has been showing me how much power is in the mind. Encouragement is great but until you believe that you are beautifully and uniquely made, the voices won’t stop.

Now i’m not here trying to offer you a ten steps to fix your body image in two weeks, but I will tell you that consistently focusing on these two things will drastically change the way you view yourself in the long run.

   

God made me unique.

The first one helps you to accept the things you can’t permanently change. The freckles, the moles, the hair line etc. You can put on makeup all day long but at some point you have to wash your face and take off your wig. Recognizing that God made you unique and cognitively accepting that helps you to change your perspective on what you see when you look in the mirror.

I will be healthy.

This is the really HARD one. This requires changes in your activity level and what you eat on a consistent basis. Some of us are down on ourselves and hate the weight, but we eat an XL pizza at 3 am every night. That is not conducive to a positive body transformation. You have to cut out the junk, get off the couch, and push to be the best you possible. It's time to stop idolizing Keyshia Ka'oir your body will never look like hers. You have to set realistic goals, within a realistic time period, for YOUR body. 

I still fight to focus on these truths EVERYDAY. Just like I have to crucify the flesh daily and fill myself with the word, I have to rebuke the negative thoughts about my body and remind myself the I am uniquely made and that I will consistently choose to be healthy. Sometimes it is a second by second decision, but it is worth it.

For your husband, your children, and you, it is worth it.  

Orianna